Rebellious, contrary to expectations

A journey for a "daughter of the church" that transcends the boundaries of mere duty and the fear of reproach.

There are no ready-made formulas or textbook answers here—only real life, genuine questions, and authentic transformation.

Kelly Gothart was long considered a "good girl." As a pastor’s wife, she immersed herself in every available ministry, saying "yes" to every request from her church family. From the outside, her life appeared perfectly put together; on the inside, however, she was drowning in self-doubt and shame.

Many women in the church face these same struggles. We feel selfish when we decline a request, we find ourselves hemmed in by the expectations of others, and we make decisions based solely on what we "ought" to do. Kelly’s journey—moving from the comfort of doing everything expected of her toward the uncertainty of living authentically—reveals a path that leads away from the frustration of trying to keep everything under control. Instead, it points us toward the freedom and love that God has always intended for us.

Kelly Gothart is a non-profit leader, an international speaker, and a leadership consultant. She holds a master’s degree in spiritual formation and helps Christian leaders develop lifestyles that sustain long-term, meaningful service.